Issue No. 18: Of Biercian Wit & Brooding Wessexians
"The Devil's Dictionary," an Anglo-Saxon jewel, and royal tombs.
Happy Friday, friends! It’ll be a light post this week as we’re rolling into the beginning of February, and I’m sure we could all use a little time to decompress. Here in the wilds of Pennsylvania (well, not really the wilds, more like a Philly suburb), we saw snow come and go, had our January warm spell, and are now experiencing the daily grey skies which herald…more grey skies.
This week we’ll cover:
Some wit and snark from Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary
Headlines about historical reckonings, royal burials, and more
Alfred the Great and his, perhaps, greater daughter
Ambrose Bierce
In 1906, American journalist and satirist Ambrose Bierce (1842 - c.1914) published a lexicon of alternate word definitions called The Cynic’s Word Book. He later republished it under the name The Devil’s Dictionary in 1911. This side-splitting satirical work has been hailed as one of the top books of the last 100 years (well, at least in the ‘70s).
Here are some of my favorite definitions for your amusement:
Abscond, v.i. To “move in a mysterious way,” commonly with the property of another.
Ambition, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Cat, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable.
Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Harangue, n. A speech by an opponent, who is known as an harangue-outang.
History, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
Kilt, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
Misfortune, n. The kind of fortune that never misses.
Monument, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
Pantaloons, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called "trousers" by the enlightened and "pants" by the unworthy.
Queen, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.
Reading, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.
Scepter, n. A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.
Teetotaler, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
Ugliness, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
Year, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
Think The Devil’s Dictionary is wild? Wait until you learn about Bierce’s disappearance amidst the Mexican Revolution in 1914.
From Around the Web
Last month, the Field Museum in Chicago released a press statement announcing they’ve covered several display cases in the Robert R. McCormick Halls of the Ancient Americas and the Alsdorf Hall of Northwest Coast and Arctic Peoples in response to updates to the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act (NAGPRA). NAGPRA now requires “consent from lineal descendants and/or affiliated Native American Tribes or Native Hawaiian Organizations (NHOs) in order for Native American sacred objects, objects of cultural patrimony, funerary objects, and/or human remains to be on view.” Other museums have followed suit. This is incredibly important as museums continue to reckon with checkered pasts involving the desecration and looting of sacred sites, cultural appropriation, and more in relation to Native Americans and Native Hawaiians (via a press release from the Field Museum).
The Journal of Archaeological Science recently released a report about the identification of remains found in a massive mound (or tumulus) at Vergina, Macedonia, Greece. Why is this important? Because the tumulus contains the remains of people close to Alexander the Great: his father, Philip II of Macedon; his brother, King Arrhidaeus; and his son, Alexander IV. The Sydney Morning Herald also reported that the nearby palace of Aigai - where Alexander was crowned king - reopened after a decade-and-a-half of restoration (via the The Journal of Archaeological Science and The Sydney Morning Herald).
Book of the Week: Æthelflæd: The Lady of the Mercians by Tim Clarkson
Tim Clarkson's biography on Æthelflæd (c. 870-918 CE), the daughter of King Alfred the Great and his wife Eahlswith, is a must-read for anyone interested in this incredible woman and Anglo-Saxon history as a whole.
Clarkson presents a chronological telling of Æthelflæd's tale. He begins first with a balanced discussion of the sources documenting her life.
Details mostly come from the various editions of the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle, especially the pro-Æthelflæd Mercian Register, charters, and Irish and Welsh annals. He comments on the pro- and anti-Æthelflæd bents of these sources. This is important to establishing as accurate a depiction of her life as possible.
Clarkson also summarizes aspects of Æthelflæd's life including her marriage to Alfred's ally Æthelred of Mercia, her relationship with her brother Edward, her various burh-building schemes, her military campaigns, and her piety.
A full review will come on Monday!
Note: I know Goodreads is controversial, especially in light of Amazon’s refusal to make the tool better and data-mining, review bombing, and more. But this offers the most conducive way to share a book’s description as well as to allow readers to make an informed decision on if the book is for them. I also have an account on The Storygraph, and I’m currently awaiting an import of my Goodreads data to add reviews there.
Artifact of the Week: The Alfred Jewel
In 1693, a ploughman unearthed a magnificent object in North Petherton, Somerset, England: a teardrop-shaped implement made of gold and rock crystal, a dragon head adorning the bottom of the object. An inscription in Old English surrounds the outer edge. Known as the Alfred Jewel, this object appears to be an aestel, a pointer used to aid reading in manuscripts. Experts theorize that it’s connected to the Anglo-Saxon king Alfred the Great.
The Ashmolean - where the jewel resides - offers an excellent description of the probable aestel and its importance to Anglo-Saxon history:
The Alfred Jewel is a masterpiece of goldsmith's work formed around a tear-shaped slice of rock crystal. Its inscription: AELFRED MEC HEHT GEWYRCAN – 'Alfred ordered me to be made’ – connects the jewel with King Alfred the Great (r. 871–899) making it among the most significant of royal relics.1
Isn’t this lovely? The Alfred Jewel is currently on view at the Ashmolean Museum at Oxford University.
Artifact Description
Title: Alfred Jewel
Discovery Location: North Petherton, Somerset
Date: AD 871–899
Materials: Gold, enamel and rock crystal
Measurements: 6.2 x 3.1 x 1.3 cm
Credit Line: Presented by Colonel Nathaniel Palmer, 1718
Thank you again for your patience and for reading this letter. Now that things have settled down for me, keep an eye out in your inbox every Friday for fresh new copies of Musings!
Cheers,
Featured image: the Alfred Jewel (©The Ashmolean Museum, University of Oxford, AN1836 p.135.371)
“Alfred Jewel,” The Ashmolean Museum, https://www.ashmolean.org/alfred-jewel (accessed February 16, 2024).